Day #164 Tip – Privilege is Earned

My kids often ask for certain privileges. They might want to have a sleepover at a cousins house. I would respond by saying, “I would love to let you do that, but you are not staying in bed when we put you to bed here. I wouldn’t want to make it harder for your aunts by letting you stay there. So, if you can show me that you have enough self control to stay in bed here, then you get to start have big girl privileges like overnights.”  Other examples might include asking for something new at the store. I might say, “I wish we could get something new, but you haven’t been showing me that you know how to take care of the toys you have. You have been leaving them on the floor and stepping on them. Maybe when you show me how well you can take care of your things we could consider getting you a special new toy.” There are so many opportunities like this throughout the day. If they can’t sit up at the table and spill because of it, there’s no way I’m letting them take food out of the dining room. If they take too much toothpaste or soap, we’re going to have to help. My kids are really independent, so they’re always saying, “I want to do it by myself.” Most of me loves this attitude. However, I’m trying to teach them that their intentional disobedience or not listening to our instructions lends itself to less independence. I keep telling them, “The more you show self control, the more privileges you are going to get.”
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  1. That’s a great thought!

  2. This is a really good way of thinking

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