“What have you learned?” is a phrase that I have found myself saying lately. I asked it once after an accident happened, and I immediately saw the value in it. We are constantly trying to teach our kids to think through things. We want them to see how there are consequence for behavior. This behavior can be intentional or an accident. As a parent, I believe I too often jump in with trying to teach or give my opinion. I think it will be so much more valuable to have my kids really think about things for themselves. One example is that Abby was carrying a cereal box today, and she was shaking it back and forth not realizing the top was open. Well, inevitably cereal decided to pop out the top and spill on the floor. She said, “I didn’t know it was open.” I said, “I know. So, what did you learn?” I wanted her to learn that it’s good to carry things more carefully and not bounce them around. She could also learn to check on the status of a container – sealed and closed or open. However, I didn’t want to make it just one more thing mom was telling her to do. She was able to come up with a conclusion on her own. I have been able to say this with accidents like spills or getting hurt. I can also ask what she learned when she had a bad result from an intentional disobedience or sin she has committed. Part of teaching your kids is helping them to experience natural consequences, but to teach them to verbalize what they see went wrong helps make that connection even more.