A friend of mine was telling me her daughter has begun the sudden emotional freak out. I know those all too well. I think any parent does. I don’t know if my kids have more of an emotional bent, but from what I remember from child psychology, all children go through it. Developmentally, they don’t have the tools for dealing properly with the emotions that well up in them. This is especially prevalent in 2 and 3 year olds. Our job is to give them tools. One of the big tools in our house is the happy heart, as discussed on the first day of my blogging venture. My friend told me one of their ideas is to “blow out the candles.” She said she read the average freak out moment in a child is 90 seconds. You can help them learn practical ways to cut that 90 seconds down. The thought with “blow out the candles” is they put all of their fingers up and pretend they are candles. Then, they blow them out one at a time. I imagine there are two elements behind this working. One thing is the breathing that comes with the blowing. Breathing naturally calms people down, which is why I suggested blowing bubbles in my “10 Ways to Calm an Angry Child” post. The other element is distraction. Distraction is always a great technique for calming kids. I’m definitely going to be trying this one.
So funny – this idea just popped into my head last week during a screaming fit. I thought it would get my 2 year old to stop screaming and use her breath for something else. It worked! I also had her blow on a tissue one time (it wiggles and moves with her breath which is a distraction).
Will be trying this next time around. Also wanted to see what is the Happy Heart method but your link isn’t working. 🙂
So sorry about that. I need to change the link in that post. Thanks for the heads up. Here it is for your convenience: https://meaningfulmama.com/2014/07/day-1-tip-of-day-happy-heart.html. Thanks for checking it out!
Thank you! I really like the blowing candles calming method. Looking forward to reading about the Happy Heart now. 🙂
hello, I will be shadowing a child in a child care center . Make a long story short . Both parents are doctors work and the child has been taken care by the grandmother. Who does not interact with the child .Only child, has a hard time socializing with children in his class . How can I help the child to calm down when he becomes aggressive or starts to yell in class ?
Bless you for caring so much. This child needs an advocate! I’d be curious on the age. Rather than re-create the wheel, I’m going to link to some articles I’ve written on anger that might help: https://meaningfulmama.com/why-is-my-child-so-angry.html and https://meaningfulmama.com/child-gets-angry.html and https://meaningfulmama.com/day-88-tip-ten-ways-to-calm-angry-child.html. I think my biggest advice would be to teach some of the techniques for helping a child calm down. Once calm – and this is important because I believe it’s important to do the teaching when the flood of emotions and chemicals to his brain in more of a neutral zone, I would walk through with problem solving. 1) Identify the emotion and help him name it. (I see you feel angry – you can even mimic an angry face there showing him you understand) 2) Ask why – Let him identify what he is angry about 3) Problem solve with him. How could we handle this differently next time. 4) Give a consequence and help him to make it right when appropriate – “You became angry with Anna and you grabbed something out of her hand, let’s go make it right. Teach him to apologize and ask for forgiveness. I like my kids to say, “How can I make it right?” Other kids tend to have a lot of grace saying, “Please don’t don’t it again or – give it back.” When appropriate he does need to experience a consequence. “You did the wrong thing, and I need to help you learn how to respond better by giving you a consequence.” – You know the protocol for that within the care center. Those are my thoughts. It’s hard when you only get him for a small portion of the day, and his family life is so sad. He might be angry because of his environment, but there also might be underlying issues depending on the severity – Sensory Processing Disorder, Explosive Anger issues, Chemical imbalances, etc. Blessings on your time working with him. Love him well. Be a strong voice of both grace and truth.