Today was a little test to see how the kids did on their own with the concept of fairness. For dessert, we passed out M&Ms. As you can see, one bowl had 7, one had 5 and one had 3. I gave 7 to Kenzie, 3 to Abby and 5 to Corban. I wanted to see if they would immediately call foul and how they would work it out after that. We were at my parents’ house, and they were also very interested to see how this was going to go down. It ended as well as I hoped. Abby received her bowl and immediately pointed out that she had less than everyone. I said, “Hmm…look at that. What should we do?” Kenzie looked back and forth and began taking some out of her bowl to put in Abby’s. Then, Abby had more. She noticed that and started putting some into Kenzie’s bowl. They worked it out where everyone was satisfied. I never could pay attention to whether the numbers worked out exactly fair because it was like a shell trick the way they moved them around. I’m glad they had a sense of justice, however, and a willingness to share.
This is an interesting experiment. I never know what to tell my kids in situations like this. You see I believe life isn’t fair and that they should learn to deal with what they are given. Everybody is different and we all have different opportunities. Some kids parents make lots of money and that money affords them opportunities that other children don’t have. Sometimes bad storms strike and destroy property. Illness can cause problems for some while passing others by.
I have three children. One of them has Leukemia. That certainly isn’t fair, but there is nothing any of us can do to change that. Her illness brings up all sorts of fairness issues. My other two children went on vacation this summer while she spent 6 weeks in the hospital. She can’t eat old food, so when we eat left overs she always gets something different. It’s not fair and somebody always speaks up. I can’t make every situation fair.
I think it’s good your children are willing to share their candy. It shows they care about each other and are willing to do something to make the others happy.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write. You are absolutely right. Life is not fair. It is absolutely not fair that you have a daughter dealing with Leukemia. I am so sorry for that and can’t even imagine your pain. I think you have inspired a lesson this week in teaching that life is not fair. Not sure what it will look like yet, but it is an important lesson. I guess I want my kids to really understand that while also seeking justice when they can have a hand in bringing it about. I want them to notice injustice and understand that God calls us to stand up for those who are facing injustices in the world. God’s heart is for the hurting and the weak, so I want my kids to develop that same heart. I guess the lesson was looking at their hearts – trying to get them to notice the imbalance and make a change when within their means. I do want them to understand and accept that life is not fair, so thank you for this really good reminder. They need to make the most of their situations whether is seems fair or not. Blessings on you down this difficult road and thank you for entering in this dialogue.