A while back, the church asked me to paint of series of murals in the children’s department. I’m on the last one. Today, I went to paint. How does this involve being a meaningful mama? You didn’t take your kids? Well, I think part of being a good mama is feeding your own soul. The transition to being a mom was hard for me. I had to go through a re-birth of sorts. I’m someone who likes adventure and traveling. I liked my alone time, my pursuits, my peace and quiet. Abruptly, that’s all disturbed when kids enter the picture. I’m suppose to be the one water skiing behind the boat. I’m not suppose to be the one nursing a baby on the beach. I am selfish. Despite the appearance from the blog, I am not a mom that goes on a date and wants to talk about her kids the whole time. My husband and I took a trip to California kids free this past year. I talked to my oldest on the phone, and she said, “I miss you (with hesitation in her voice), but I’m having a lot of fun here (with enthusiasm in her voice).” That’s exactly how I felt. I am doing a Bible Study, and in that study it says that when women were interviewed what they are searching for most (across all ages and situation in life) is identity. In having children, I felt like I had lost mine. Yes, I love them dearly, but at times, I felt like I was losing myself. I was given advice to make sure I was taking time to do something I love. Don’t lose yourself. I always thought that was advice of selfish people until I had babies. In this refinement process, I have become different. I have been forced to redefine myself. I still take healthy time for myself, and that’s what I wanted to showcase here. By feeding your own passions, you will be a better mom. My life looks different…I look different, but it’s part of the refining process, and I know God is working all things out.
