There are many reasons why I am an amazing mom. That’s hard to write. It’s seems very prideful. Before you dismiss this thought and find it as obnoxious as it sounds, let me tell you that I am talking about each one of you as well. You might not have the same strengths or weaknesses I have, but God put your gifts and abilities in place so that He can work through you as you raise your own little ones.
This post is not a stand alone article either. You should read “Why I Suck at Being a Mom” as a prelude to this article. The two are meant to be read together so there is balance in the universe.
As mentioned in my previous post, the reason I was candid about my weaknesses is because I truly believe that being real and candid benefits everyone. It is only when I live in the light about my sin that I can truly repent from that behavior.
Further, parenting is tough. I never want moms to feel alone on the journey – like they are the only ones struggling. I want to live in an authentic community where people are vulnerable and honest. In no way do I want to contribute to the already prevalent comparison game that plagues so many moms.
Why tell you about why I am an amazing mom? As moms, we don’t live in defeat. Yes, we have our weaknesses, but there is so much to celebrate. We can rejoice in what we are doing well.
You will notice that most of what makes me a fabulous mom stems from a choice rather than an innate ability contributing to some super mom status (we already established, I believe, that I’m far from a super mom). We all make choices every day to love our kids well…not perfectly…but doing the best we can with our own gifts and the mom arsenal that we continue to develop.
I want to encourage you to not live in discouragement. Self-pity is not where God wants you. After all, it is another form of selfishness. Acknowledge your weaknesses, but join me in celebrating your strengths.
Why I am an Amazing Mom
I’ve Got God on my Side
God gave you the kids you have because He knew you’d be the right one for the job, even if it doesn’t feel like it. He hand picked – hand knitted – these little ones together and entrusted them to you for this time. What a mind-blowing concept. You might not feel like you have the strength to do it. You are right. I have some encouragement for you today:
- “For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.” ~ 1 Corinthians 1:25
- “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9
- “He gives strength to the weary, And to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.” ~ Isaiah 40:29-31
You see, I have weaknesses. However, those don’t defeat me because I have One living inside me who has strength and power that I can’t even comprehend. I simply (and yet it is not as simple as it should be because I too often want to take the reigns) need to lean on God for the encouragement, strength, wisdom and freedom He provides.
We Practice the Gospel in our Family
Many think the message of the Bible is that if you are good enough you will some day enter into heaven. In most religions, that is true. There is some sort of bar that you might be able to reach if the good outweighs the bad. What a burden to carry? Am I being good enough? Have I met the invisible line that will by my ticket into eternal bliss. If this is your view on God, I strongly encourage you to read a 91 page book that is 4.5″ x 6″ inches in size. It might take you an hour to read but could change your life. It’s called “How Good is Good Enough” by Andy Stanley (affiliate link).
The gospel message isn’t about us being good enough so God will approve of us. The true gospel states that we will never be good enough. Romans 3:23 shows us, “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” We then learn that “The wages of sin is death…” Romans 6:23a. You see God is a holy God, and sin separates us from the holiness he requires – no matter how “good” you are. The second half of Romans 6:23 is the hope: “…but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” The next verse to look at says, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8. This show us that it is not a matter of being good enough to get God’s love. He loved us – died for us – despite our sin.
So, if it’s not being good enough that earns a place with God, what is it? It’s faith – “that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” – Romans 10:9. Romans 5:1 then says, “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” I also love this promise: “ For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” ~ Ephesians 2:8-9. Faith is what drives our actions. We don’t try to be good to earn favor with God. We are good because of a desire to follow Jesus and be a light to others. We come to God asking for forgiveness and repenting of the ways in which we fall short out of love and gratefulness for his grace and mercy on our lives.
What does this look like in our family? We re-enact the gospel. We try and get to our children’s hearts. Getting to their hearts is what leads to true behavior change. If we are constantly combatting behavior then it puts a band-aid on a condition in their soul.
We don’t want our kids to feel like they have to earn our favor. We love unconditionally.
They will fail. We will too. We practice coming to one another (parents and kids alike) to walk through the path of forgiveness and therefore living out the gospel experience by following these steps:
- Person 1: “I’m sorry for… Will you forgive me?”
- Person 2: “I forgive you.” Read more about why I will teach my kids to ask for and grant forgiveness even when they don’t feel like it.
- Person 1: “How can I make it right?”
We acknowledge our wrongs and our need for forgiveness with one another. Grace is given. Forgiveness is granted. Relationship is restored. It’s the gospel message.
I Love my Kids
As established in the gospel message shared above, love is not earned. Love is a choice, and we chose to love our kids every day. Much of this comes naturally. Loving your own child is a miraculous experience all by itself. However, love is not conditional.
I love my kids, and I tell them that often. If you ask my kids how much I love them they will say, “So much. Way up to the moon and back, forever and always no matter what.” I often follow that up with, “What if you are a stinker.” They assure me that I will still love them? I might ask, “What if you lie to me?” They say, “You’ll still love me.” I might say, “Yes. Absolutely. I will always love you. I might be sad for you and for the hurt in our relationship or for the consequences that might follow from your sin, but I will absolutely love you.”
Love doesn’t flow from empty words. My kids see my imperfections. However, my actions show that I’m still their mom who is there to go to bat for them, help them, take care of their needs and teach them every day. Love needs to have tangible actions attached, although in no way requires perfection.
I’m far from perfect, but I am teachable. I’m willing to admit my weaknesses and seek out answers. I’ve been blessed with wonderful parents as a resource. My parenting mentors, the Pritchards of Axis Ministries, have been key as well. Find their great resources here. I ask questions when I don’t know what to do. I observe parents I respect. I read books to learn and grow, trying to discover the most effective parenting tools. When something is not working, I adapt.
Entering into parenting, I was prideful. I thought this parenting thing would be a natural fit for me with my background of working with kids and my degree in education. No problem. I got this. I was humbled immediately, and it has been key to equip myself with more knowledge as I move forward in this important role.
I Want to Do this Job Well
I am passionate about what I do. There would be complete dissatisfaction if I were to remain stagnant. I’ve already shared my weaknesses. I’m not content to dwell in them. Changing those sinful behaviors is a daily pursuit. Since the day I gave birth to my first, I can say that I’m less selfish, less prideful, more compassionate, more loving and more thoughtful in my parenting. Sure, I have a ways to go, but I will continue to want to do this job well and therefore make the changes necessary in my own behavior.
I’ve said over and over that this job has been a mirror into my own sin. As the junk in me are revealed, I am determined to take steps toward a better me.
Nobody wants to mess up their kids. I pray that through God’s grace I can have kids that end up in relationship with God, with family and with others in a healthy way. I will work toward that end.
I Model Integrity
While I have admitted I am full of faults, integrity is very important to me. I want my kids to show true character in their actions, which is why I developed my character development series. If I see my kids being unkind, I jump. Being good citizens that treat all human beings with respect, honesty and care is important.
I try and be the kind of person that gives back the extra money that was given on accident, smiles at people, opens door for others, listens to others – even if they disagree, lives in the light with my actions and is generous in time and resources. Those are just a few of the actions I strive toward.
I Show Up
Being involved in my children’s lives is another quality that makes me an amazing mom. I am aware that this can be limited by commitments to work or other life circumstances. However, when I can – I try and be present. Whether it be the school assembly, the class party, the sporting event, the church program or the choir concert, I am there.
At home, I try and be available to help with homework, teach new skills, play, provide for basic needs, help problem solve and simply listen.
No matter the distractions that come in and out of my life, I want my kids to remember me as a staple – to love, support, cheer for and coach. I want them to think of me as their biggest fan.
I Want to Help Others
I don’t want others to be alone as they walk through parenting. I started the blog to be there for others. While I felt blessed to have great mentors, I thought to myself, “How do people do this without the support I’ve received?” I have wanted to become a resource – with parenting tips, marriage help, and engaging activities for kids.
Anytime a friend wants to talk about their struggles, I am there to listen, have empathy, help tangibly or give solicited advice based on my own personal journey.
Taking what we have and our life experience and using it to benefit others is part of the responsibility of being in community – of being in the human race. It is part of what contributes to making us amazing.
Why I am an Amazing Mom
There are many reasons why I suck as a mom, but I pray that God will use both my weakness and my strengths for His glory.