I watch my children celebrate when they step on the scale. They rejoice with each pound gained. This realization gives them the knowledge that they are “growing bigger and older.” I never want the scale to be an enemy for my children, as it has been for me. I want my daughters to not weigh their worth from the scale but, instead, from their value as beautiful human beings created for a purpose.
Society and the media try to tell us that our identity and self-worth come from our physical appearance. We are also told that food is our enemy, so we diet, and obsess over what we put in our mouths. I have come to believe, through my own struggles, that food is not the enemy. It is to be celebrated as the fuel that keeps us energized and healthy so that we can accomplish the goals set before us.
“I am a member of the Lean Cuisine Team and help spread the word about Lean Cuisine. As a team member, I receive product and incentives in exchange for participating in brand related activities and spreading the word about Lean Cuisine. All opinions are my own.”
My Struggle with Image
My history is that I let the world tell me about beauty. I believed I would be valued more if my external appearance matched some of what I saw around me. My 5’3″ curvy frame was never going to allow me to look like what I saw on the magazines or the “beauties” I saw on TV, but I was determined to make it happen. I have had an unhealthy view of my body most of my life, going to extremes in my teens. Through binge and purge episodes and times of drinking a “health” shake a day and calling that good enough, I believed that sculpting the outward appearance would somehow magically bring me worth. Did it work? No. I felt more miserable. It was only when I began to weigh myself based on the gifts and talents I brought into this world as well as the accomplishments I was achieving that I felt more content on the package it all came in. To say I don’t still struggle with body image would be a lie. However, I know it is imperative that I model where true worth comes from to my daughters. The truth they receive from me will help drown out the lies that will inevitably come from the media and their peers.
How I Want my Daughters to Weigh Themselves
I don’t step on a scale in front of my girls. I don’t talk about food, calories, weight and the word “fat” does not leave my mouth. I have had to change the motivation behind my eating habits. My desire to live a healthy, long life with energy is what motivates me now. I no longer have the goal to be a size 2. Modeling a healthy perspective for my girls so they don’t hate their bodies like I did for so many years is the higher aim.
I want them to weigh themselves based on their innate worth, character and for making a difference in this world. What they are able to accomplish, how they handle challenges and treat others is also important. These are the things that matter, not what a number says on the scale.
I also try and teach my kids about the value of human beings. We respect others and we respect ourselves because we were all wonderfully and beautifully made. Why do we treat others well? They are human beings made with purpose, talents, feelings and needs. Too often we are judging others rather than showing love. By teaching my kids about the worth of others, we are only communicating to them that they, too, are valued.
#WeighThis
Lean Cuisine has been a part of my life for a long time. What is interesting is that as I have been shifting my perspective about body image, Lean Cuisine has also been shifting their focus. No longer are they the diet trend of the 80’s. Their goal is to communicate the message that diet is a four letter word. I am thrilled to let you know that their products and values have changed. I am partnering with Lean Cuisine in the pursuit to tell women and their daughters that we should be weighed by who we are and not by the number on the scale.
Get out your tissues so you can watch this YouTube video and celebrate the message, “If you are going to weigh something, weigh something that matters.” Did I cry while watching this video? I did, and it is the reason why I chose to be a part of this important campaign. Join the conversation using the hashtag #WeighThis.
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Lean Cuisines are still in my freezer for a number of reasons. First, I have a hard time working vegetables into my lunchtime routine. I enjoy vegetables cooked rather than raw, so to be able to get my vegetables in a delicious meal is appealing to me. Secondly, I like convenience. I am a busy stay-at-home mom trying to get it all done. The convenience of throwing a well-balanced meal into the microwave is attractive. I have enjoyed Lean Cuisine meals for years, and they have honestly just gotten better with time. I especially love their Spa Collection. Some of my favorite meals include: Pepperoni Pizza (because pizza will always make the list…I don’t care how healthy I’m trying to be), Chicken with Basil Cream Sauce, Salmon with Basil, Chile Lime Chicken, Orange Chicken, Tortilla Crusted Fish, Butternut Squash Ravioli and Ginger Garlic Stir-fry with Chicken – just to name a few. I had a number of these in the freezer when I was asked to be a part of this campaign. Lean Cuisine also provides great portion control. Again, this is not a diet for me, but it is a healthier approach to eating so I can have the energy to do all that being a mom entails.
How I Weigh Myself
If I am no longer going to place my self worth on the scale, these are the areas I will celebrate my worth:
- Serving Others – I have been so blessed with opportunities to serve others, and I am grateful for a family that instilled service into my life. I’ve built houses in Mexico and a library in Kenya. I’ve served a church as the youth director for a year in England. Youth ministry was a big part of my life for a number of years. I’ve hosted a variety of events, lead small groups, helped out friends and strangers, prepared meals for new mothers or sick people and currently serve in a marriage ministry at our church that is transforming marriages that are broken and hurting. These actions have an eternal impact on lives, and I am humbled to be a part of all of these opportunities.
- Being a Mom – I would love to be weighed for the impact I’m having in the lives of my children. I have been given the responsibility, the challenges and the joys of being a mom. I celebrate the growth I see in my children’s lives. I know the growth is happening because of the dedication of my husband and myself. We are far from perfect in this job, but we are persevering and trying to be a good mixture of grace and discipline. My determination in this role and the impact I’m making for future generations holds great weight that deserves to be celebrated.
- Meaningful Mama – Parenting threw me for a loop. Honestly, it kinda kicked my tush. I thought motherhood would be easier with my background as a teacher and working with youth. One of my friends asked me for a word to describe being a mom, and I said “humbling.” However, I didn’t let it overcome me. I am fighting to do this job well, and I have established a blog to help other moms be inspired on this journey too. I have loved what I get to accomplish for my family and other families through Meaningful Mama, and I am so grateful for all that have come alongside me on this journey. I am hoping this blog will also have eternal merit and make a difference in the lives of my readers.
- The Mom Quilt – I’m super excited for this upcoming project of compiling a book. The proceeds will be going to build a water well in Kenya at the Mercy House, a home providing help for otherwise forgotten girls. I’d love for you to read more about the project by clicking on this link. I want to be weighed on the impact this project will have on women across the globe.
I don’t state these accomplishments to brag. I simply want to tell you about a more meaningful scale than the one that holds numbers. Trying to make my body look a certain way has only lead me down a path of disappointment, self-centeredness and a focus on earthly things that will certainly pass. Trying to build on my relationship with God, character, service to others and other relationships in life is what brings contentment. This is what I want to model for my daughters. This is how I want them to weigh themselves in life.
I Need You
I need you to comment on my post or Facebook page because I will be doing a follow-up post that focuses on the worth of my readers. I want you to respond with the answer to this question, “What do you wish people would ‘weigh’ you on besides your weight?” I’d love to feature you in my next post on the topic. Another way to communicate about this campaign is with the hashtag #WeighThis. I would love to see your responses on Twitter so make sure to tag me! I will be adding those tweets to my next post. To re-tweet the video, you can follow this link. You can also see and share the video by visiting the Lean Cuisine Facebook page. Join me and Lean Cuisine to teach girls and women that their value is not found on a scale.
We actually don’t own a scale! The only time my kids are weighed is at the Dr. office and it is definitely a celebration (especially for my yr old daughter who up until 6 months ago only weighed in at 53lbs!! – not for lack of eating, just how she’s built). We talk a lot about food and nutrition and what our body needs to perform at it’s best. Since my kids are in competitive sports we discuss the necessity for fuel for their bodies as well as all of the vitamins and minerals that are needed to support healthy function. As young as 4, they know what proteins, carbohydrates, and fats are – and how our body uses them to work correctly. They have never seen me diet or discuss body image and I plan on keeping it that way, it is not a healthy obsession! As long as we are fueling our bodies with the correct foods and exersizing to keep our bodies strong and healthy, that is all they need to focus on.
All of that is such a healthy perspective on eating. I’m sure you, like me, are very hopeful that our kids cary the truth about food and health throughout their lives. Thanks so much for commenting.
Such a great message! I haven’t ever had a problem with my weight and have a fairly good view of my body, but teaching your kids good eating habits, as well as their worth, can be hard when their dad (my husband) definitely struggles with his weight. He’s still working through overcoming some bad habits. But, like you, we do not use the word “fat” and try to teach out children that all people are valuable despite everything.
I would say that in answer to “What do you wish people would ‘weigh’ you on besides your weight?” would be how treat other people, how you treat your spouse, your children, animals, nature, strangers, and so on. If we want our children to value others, we need to show them how we value others ourselves. I feel like how you treat others is a much greater reflection of your character than some number on a scale.
I love your focus on character and totally agree about the benefit of the value we place on others – the human beings walking around in this world that were created with purpose. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment, and I can’t wait to add your thoughts to my future post.
We talk about food A LOT in my house (as you can probably guess, haha) & it’s always about how we choose food, why we eat food, why certain foods are better choices than others, how food makes us feel, what it does to & for our body, etc. I want my kids (ages 6, 7, 8) to be educated to make good choices on their own when the time comes but also to pay attention to the messages their bodies are sending them. Right now, of course, I have most of the control, but I want them to know WHY we eat the way we do so that they can in turn make good choices when they are on their own. They see me exercise, but it’s always about health & not weight. My kids are all super skinny, but that can be just as much of a negative as overweight…I was called “Olive Oyl” when I was a kid because of how skinny my legs were. It wasn’t a huge putdown, but was one still the same.
We also focus at home on how we treat others, not using putdowns or calling names, even if the person can’t hear us. There are lots of opportunities to talk about how & why people are different, & how the outside doesn’t define what is on the inside.
#WeighThis
I love that. Food is fuel, and it is important to make good decisions. I also love how you are teaching your kids to value others. I’m sure it spills over into how they value themselves. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
What a great message, Jodi!
On one hand, I wish people would weigh me on the the unseen things … character… integrity … obedience to Christ … sacrifice … all those things that are at the core of me. Things they may not (or maybe they are ) even be aware of.
However, a scale is a reminder of the physical. So, my heart would love to be weighed on the fruit of those internal things. What is that “fruit?” … Well, I admit, they are all still “intangible” things (like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) I know — crazy, right? But is it *really* crazy? I mean, those things will manifest in ALL areas of my life. How I act toward my kids … how I love my husband… how I approach difficult times … and so, SO much more.
This also spills into the physical being of who I am… including food, and caring for my body. And we ALL know the kids watch us. My girls may learn what it is to be a woman – my boys might pick up hints on what to expect from a woman (haha…. sorry future wives! LOL!) And, Man! — I mess up ALL THE TIME. But if I truly have fruit worth being weighed, the ugly will have the ability to turn into something beautiful.
So … #weighthis … Look at the person … not JUST the tangible – flesh, house, career, cars, etc … there SO much more to each and every one of us!
I think we want to be weighed by the same things, Hope. 🙂 I love your thoughts and really appreciate you commenting. I also agree that it’s as important for moms to model this kind of healthy perspective for their sons as well. It’s so easy to get up on looking at the external, and I love that you say there dis “SO much more to each and everyone one of us.” Spot on.
#WEIGHTHIS @meaningfulmama
Weigh the love in my heart for others. Weigh the number of times I put my husband and kids before me because Jesus put himself on the cross for me and my sin. Weigh my character- in the light of day and in the dark of night. Weigh my ability to stand up for my Savior and be his shining light to the most unlovable.
I LOVE this. All those things are worthy to be weighed. I really appreciate your response. 🙂
What a wonderful post!
Thanks so much!!
“I know who I am and I remember where I’ve been” is a line in the book Green Ember that we just finished reading. I actually highlighted this line in a fiction book. Picket, the rabbit, has a scar on her ear and she could wear her bow to cover it up, but she decides that she wants to wear the bow on the other ear so everyone could see the scar as she is proud of the battle she fought to earn her scar.
I think we need to know who we are in Christ and remember the way He sees us. And we need to remember where we’ve been in life and the trials in our life that have produced character and then hope (Romans 5:3-5). For me personally, those are my acne scars. Not to say I wouldn’t rid myself of them in a minute if I could, but I still need to not make them my focus every time I look in the mirror. I need to remember who I am and where I’ve been.
When it comes to food and my kids, I want them to learn to enjoy healthy food- where does it come from? Let’s grow a garden! Let’s raise our chickens! Let’s visit a farmer and meet their cows!
I want them to understand food as fuel- put in sugar, out comes exhaustion and moodiness. Put in the right fuel and you can keep healthy for a long time!
I want them to see food as the bonding agent that it is– eat a meal with someone and you grow closer as friends and family, giving food to another is an act of love, and making food in the kitchen together creates some of the best conversations and memories.
Lastly, I want them to enjoy God’s world. Hike that trail! Cross that creek! Run around in that field and roll down the hill!
When it comes to how they look, I hope they can look in the mirror, see any “flaws” and say, “I know who I am and I remember where I’ve been.”
I love your response, Drea, and I know you live it out. Thank you for your thoughts about “flaws.” I always didn’t like my round face and “squinty eyes.” Now I see my beautiful daughter with similar features and wonder why I thought these were flaws all along. I love the quote, “It’s the rocks in the bed that give the stream its song.” Thank you for being so thoughtful.
I love this article! It’s my passion to fight society’s pressure to conform to a very superficial beauty. I too can relate to finding freedom in valuing myself by my heart versus a number. I would like to be weighed by my passion for life that I try to express through my art….I would like to be weighed for the love I hold for my family and babies and my commitment to my husband and best friend…i want to be weighed for my commitment to my faith….these things make me feel valuable and beautiful even if my body changes…
Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I love your words and will be adding this to my post. 🙂
I love this idea of reinventing the word “weight”! I want to be weighed by my love and compassion for others. Even though that can be a daily struggle!
Those are two things worthy of weight, although I agree that they can be challenging too. Thanks for commenting.
I have to say that this post, more than any other, hit me right in the gut. I too have struggled with body image issues for the majority of my life. And like you, I have been working hard to change the way I talk about food in front of my children. A couple of years ago I even sought out an intuitive eating counselor so I would learn to eat for the right reasons and not focus on the extra 10 pounds that never wants to go away.
So what do I hope people “weigh” me for? The question also makes me ask “What would I hope people said at my funeral if I died today?” (oh my gosh why am I crying right now?).
I would hope that people would weigh me for the way that I loved them deeply. For many years God has had me on a journey, teaching me how to love better and better every day. So I would like to be weighed for the times that I hugged my children when they were at their worst. I would like to be weighed for the way that I held hands and cried with people from every race, sexual preference, and social status. And I would like to be weighed for the fact that I was completely imperfect every day yet always strived to improve.
And you are right Jodi. There’s the tendency to look back on that list and think it is an opportunity to brag, but I know that I am truly bragging on the work that God has done in my life. I am not the same person I was 20 years ago and I definitely cannot give myself credit for it.
Thank you for sharing these words and encouraging me to do the same. And thank you to Lean Cuisine for changing your approach. We need more companies to do the same right now.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart, and I am so glad the article touched you so much. I love to hear about how God is working on your heart to love people deeply. It’s what life is really all about. Thank you so much for taking the time to commenting in such a meaningful way!
All this being said, obesity is a very real problem in this country & especially with kids. Food is not created equal. This is probably topic for a different post, but while weight should not be the primary focus, health should, there are certainly occasions where it is unsafe & unhealthy.
I agree. Obesity is a problem, and we need to learn to value our bodies more as that we can live healthier lives and use all the talents we’ve been given.