After years of observation and trial and error, I have finally found the secret to a clean house. The secret to a clean house is simple: Spend more time cleaning than you do using stuff. Make sure the stuff you buy trumps the rest of life.
The Secret to a Clean House
If you want to keep a clean house, the first step is to not have kids. They will destroy your entire pursuit of cleanliness. If you accidentally do end up with children or you had them before reading this post, make sure to spend more time cleaning than you do teaching them, playing with them or feeding them. Actually, feeding them is definitely out. Every meal creates more of a mess. Perhaps you should stop eating all together.
If you do choose to continue eating, here are a couple solutions. Eat out. All…the…time. Eat out. Forget that old fashioned image of a family eating around the table together. Can you imagine the kind of dishes that would be generated by having just one meal together? Ridiculous. If you can’t afford to eat out for every meal, 2 words – paper plates.
Another secret to a clean house is this: Don’t invite people over. Ever. Don’t open your doors to your neighbors and friends. People are messy, and they usually want food. We’ve already discussed that. I know the Bible teaches to welcome people and honor them above yourself, but I’m pretty sure God was wrong about that one. Doesn’t He also say, “Cleanliness is next to godliness,” or was that not Him?
Don’t have pets. Pets are stinky. They poop. They shed. Their tongues seem to visit every surface. Pets are a disaster.
It’s so easy, really. Don’t live. Don’t enjoy the things you have. Limit relationships. That sounds healthy, right?
This is a great post! Love it.
Thanks so much. 🙂 It was fun to write.
So funny because it has a lot of truth in it.
I try and keep a clean house, but to keep it that way I’d literally have to follow my kids around all day. That’s 3 kids in 3 different direction. It’s not worth the crazy, so I’ve just had to let up on my standards and live. 🙂 Thanks for commenting.
So basically less is more. I’m learning to live simply, joyfully, and making memories with our children along the way. In the process of this upcoming move, I’ve had the opportunity to pretty much gut each room and determine what we will take and what we will get rid of either by mean of the trash, giving, or selling. It has been so liberating not only for myself but for our whole family as well. I’m looking forward to the lessons being taught in and through this process and let me just tell you that getting rid of all the unnecessary hardly ever touched items has decreased my cleaning as well. One thing less to find a place for a dust in the process. Live Simply and Joyfully!
Definitely! We are purgers, and I have always loved moving for this very reason – a whole new clean start. It would be a bad idea to just do this every once in a while – pretend you are moving and just take everything of one room of your house and put it all away again, ridding yourself of what you don’t need. Thanks for commenting.
Love this! We love to use our home and we love to find ways to spend less time cleaning it. We use vinegar a lot for natural cleaning, but quick swiffer refills for mopping and kirkland antibacterial wipes make rounds in our home for quick cleaning too. 🙂 We buy all three of the products whenever they go on sale at Costco. My husband goes every week to Costco and makes a public list of the secret weekly sale items there which is helpful. http://www.coconorthwest.com
Thanks so much for all those tips. Anything to make it easier!