After a coming of age weekend away with my daughter, I wanted to provide a mom’s review of Passport 2 Purity (“Passport to Purity” for those searching because they heard about it by word of mouth and didn’t know to search with a 2 in the title.)
I blinked, and suddenly I have a tween.
OK – It didn’t quite happen like that for me. People always told me, “It goes by so fast.” I feel the years ticking away now, but for me the baby, toddler and preschool years felt like watching a sloth move across the jungle. Will it ever end?
The beginning years, for me were a challenge. The days were long. Weeks were long. Years were even longer. You can read more about my struggles here.
We have hit a new milestone though. My baby is a tween. She is 11 years old and in the 6th grade. I see her maturing and growing, and I am encouraged. She is turning into a beautiful young lady, and I cannot wait to see how the Lord continues to grow her.
We have talked about sex with her before using “The Talk,” which was a great resource. However, I wanted a weekend away to really go more into depth into discussions on the changes she will be going through in the teen years.
What is Passport 2 Purity?
Passport 2 Purity is a Christian CD series put out by Family Life. The talks on the CDs introduce the concepts of peer pressure, puberty, sex and how that relates to our relationship with God and each other.
The Passport 2 Purity series is intended for use during a weekend getaway with your child. It has a program track for both a mother and daughter or a father and son trip.
The getaway kit includes a five session CD series, a journal and a parent guide.
The parent guide gives you all the information needed to put together object lessons that go along with the teaching. It also provides discussion questions. You can buy a pre-assembled activity kit as well (more about that later).
How long is the Passport 2 Purity CD series? If you were to do the entire five sessions, including the optional part of session 4, it will take 4 1/2 hours or more. There is a slight time variation between boys and girls.
As you are preparing for time, do not forget there are object lessons, discussion times and provision for kids to take notes, answer questions or write in their Passport 2 Purity journal. This definitely adds more time into your P2P experience.
A Mom’s Review of Passport 2 Purity
Note: This is my review. I was not given this program nor am I being paid by Family Life for my thoughts. I’m just a mom who went on a Passport 2 Purity weekend with my daughter.
In preparation for this trip, I listened to all the CD’s ahead of time, while also looking at the object lessons. After previewing the content of the Passport 2 Purity curriculum, I felt both confident and equipped moving forward in planning a weekend away with my pre-teen daughter.
The Content of Passport 2 Purity
Session 1: Beginning the Journey – While a little hokey and maybe too immature for your older kids, the journey begins with a little audio drama about kids going on a treasure hunt.
The whole point of the first session is that in life you need a map (the Bible), a compass (Jesus) and a guide (your parents) to help you along the paths of life. These three components can help direct kids in positive ways and avoid the pitfalls that are set to trap us during the adolescent years.
While some of it was cheesy, I did feel it entered into the discussion in a light-hearted, not-intimidating and intentional way.
Session 2: Running with the Herd – This was one of my favorite sessions. It discusses the reality of peer pressure. The talks, examples and questions really demonstrate the reality of peer pressure that we will face our entire lives.
Kids are encouraged to make decisions ahead of time about how they will respond when faced with different types of peer pressure.
Session 3: Ready for an Upgrade – This is a session where there is a disc for the boys and a separate one for the girls.
For the girls, the disc discusses the changes that will occur as a girl makes the transition to becoming a woman. It discusses growing breasts, growing hair, getting a period and hormonal changes.
I appreciated the discussion about how girls each change and develop in their own way and in their own time, encouraging girls to be kind to one another while trying to avoid the comparison game.
The second part of session 3 talks about sex. The mechanics of it are explained and discussed. I do think a drawing of the reproductive organs would have been helpful, but you can always looks for those online too.
Not only were the mechanics of it discussed, but also some of the deeper issues regarding sexuality. Why was sex created? It was created for reproduction, pleasure and to bring us closer to our spouse. How was sex intended? Sex is intended for enjoyment within marriage. It is a gift.
Session 4: Le Pure – This session encourages both boys and girls to understand the progression of sexual relations and make a decision about where to draw the line sexually.
Passport 2 Purity takes a very conservative approach to where to draw that line, but also encourages kids to talk to their parents about where the line should be drawn.
One of the big points in Passport 2 Purity is to make decisions about these big areas of life before you are put in the situation.
Session 5: Crossing the Date Line – Session 5 encourages kids to take a different approach to dating. It talks about some of the risks of becoming overly exclusive with one particular individual during the teenage years.
It encourages kids to be active, engaged with peer groups and willing to serve in order to stay busy.
The thought is that when you are idle you have more time to fall into some of the traps of sexuality and other temptations that young adults face.
Thoughts on the Content
I felt like the content was very appropriate for kids age 10+, depending on maturity level.
There is an optional addition to the sex talk that addresses pornography, same sex attraction and current sexual trends like sexting and oral sex.
Personally, I believe these are extremely important and relevant topics. I included them in our weekend because I want to be able to discuss these hard issues openly with my child.
Passport 2 Purity takes a very conservative approach to dating and sexuality. I’m pretty conservative myself, but I had a pretty open talk with my kids about how my ideas might differ from the speakers.
For example, P2P promotes waiting until the wedding day to have your first kiss. If my child chose to do that, yay for them. I can see the benefits, and I wouldn’t discourage this choice. However, that wouldn’t be where I would say the line needs to be drawn.
I openly talked with my child about this, and the P2P program allows room for looking at the different stages from hand holding to sex. We discussed the different temptations at the different stages.
I love that Passport 2 Purity asks the child to make these decisions before they come across the situation.
That said, my 11 year old could not relate at all to ever wanting to be physical with someone. You ask her to not kiss until she is married, and she would respond, “No problem! I can make that commitment.”
Well, it’s just not as easy to make that decision once the hormones kick in and you meet that guy that you want so badly to like you back.
So, while I appreciate P2P wanting our kids to make the decisions they do early on, I don’t believe my daughter was ready to make some of the choices being asked of her.
I do think the weekend and the program really open doors to communication that need to continue throughout the growing-up years. When my daughter starts to have the deeper sexual feelings and temptations, that seems a more feasible time to try and take a stance.
With most teachings, I believe this program can be done really well or really poorly by parents. We need to avoid being legalistic.
The unique thing about Christianity, compared to other religions, is that our favor with God (or favor with the universe) is not based on what we do. So many think they need to become good or do a bunch of “religion” to approach God. Not true.
The Bible clearly teaches, “It is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is a Gift of God – not by works so that no one can boast.” – Ephesians 2:8-9.
This topic of sex and purity can be so important and so scary in our parental minds (oh trust me I can relate) that we can treat it as the end all be all. The end all be all is really recognizing we sin and are in need of a Savior. This Savior is Jesus Christ, and his grace abounds.
Knowing this doesn’t make us want to start or continue sinning. Rather, his overflowing love and mercy makes us want to follow his ways and teachings, even in the area of sexuality. We obey because we trust God’s goodness and know He wants the best for us.
In doing this purity weekend with your children, the above needs to be clear so that our kids don’t flee from a loving Savior because there is guilt or shame in their lives.
Another important discussion topic is that we don’t stand in judgment over others. Yes, we can hold our close Christian friends accountable to the Word of God in a loving way. However, it’s not our place to think of ourselves as better than others.
Christians should be the most humble people out there because we recognize our own sin and need of a Savior. We sometimes get this wrong, and I apologize to people that have been harmed by that.
“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven” – Luke 6:37
Variety Makes it Work
This is a comprehensive program with a lot of content.
Plan a long weekend, with lots of breaks and exciting buffers.
What Passport 2 Purity does really well is offer a variety of forms of communication.
They have little dramas mixed in with straight forward, adult-like conversations.
Personal testimonies are paired next to music aimed to highlight key scripture.
There is storytelling and time for personal reflection through both conversation and journal writing.
Great object lessons are interspersed throughout the teaching.
The variety makes the whole thing work and not feel so incredibly overwhelming.
All that said, while I liked the variety, there some cheesy elements to the presentations. The sound effects, goofy voices, and just OK music might appeal to some, but my daughter and I just looked at each other and made a weird face about the corny parts. I suppose that lightened the load a bit.
Much of the presentation was done with sophistication. It’s just that some of the story telling was over the top hokey.
Planning Your Passport 2 Purity Weekend
The parent guide provided has a lot of ideas to make the weekend meaningful and effective, but I want to give you some more advice.
Plan a long weekend. We did Saturday morning to Sunday afternoon. We started in the car on the way there. We ended in the car after we left the hotel.
I felt as though we were pounding it out and spending a lot of time in the hotel. I wish we had more time.
I think ideally you’d actually have a Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon so that you can fit all the content in while having plenty of down time.
I would also buffer your weekend with lots of fun activities to do in the location you have chosen. I’ll share more about our weekend at the end of the post.
It’s a lot of content, but I encourage you to listen to the content beforehand to mentally prepare yourself and figure out how you want to personally address the topics. Think of your own life and personal experiences. Reflect on your regrets and your victories. Sprinkle those in as appropriate and be prepared to answer questions.
I loved becoming familiar with the object lessons beforehand also.
The Amazon reviews for the pre-packaged activity kit weren’t great (dried out Play-Doh, flimsy puzzle, etc.). I was glad I assembled the kits on my own. It is not hard nor is it expensive to do.
Making the activity bags feel more like gifts helped my daughter stay engaged and looking forward to what was coming next.
Activity Kit Shopping List
- 2 Puzzles – One More Simple Puzzle and One Harder Puzzle
- You need a timer, but I just used my phone
Note: The activity guide will tell you how to set this up. I set it up a bit different. I put a candy bar prize in the middle for whoever accomplished the most pieces. However, I also made a prize for her if she was able to stay cool and calm and not freak out about how unfair things were. This prize was the game Exploding Kittens, which we ended up playing throughout the weekend. I bought this game because her puzzle was an Exploding Kittens Puzzle.
- Box of Matches
- Drinking Glass
Some Extra Advice
I would highly recommend preparing your child ahead of time rather than trapping him or her after the weekend begins. There was conversation ahead of time saying that we were going to be having a fun weekend together, but we were also going to be talking about becoming a woman and sex (she already knew that term).
I had talked to someone who did the program with her parents and felt more like a bait and switch – “My word, I thought I was going on this fun weekend with my mom and now we are stuck in a hotel listening to topics I have no desire to discuss.” Try and avoid that.
I had some snacks, drinks and treats available to pull out when needed. We did take food breaks, but it helped to have some munchies around.
The first activity had puzzles. I LOVED having these available. I was super thankful our hotel room had a large table where we could do the puzzles. This kept our hands busy while we were listening. Having something like a puzzle or coloring book to do helps maintain focus toward the end of the disc series is extremely helpful.
I also loved having the content on my phone. Disc number 8 provides an MP3 version. We put this in my Dropbox. It allowed us to easily listen in the car or hotel room. This also allowed for either of us to pause the audio to ask a question, provide clarification or insert our own thoughts or experiences.
What Our Passport to Purity Weekend Looked Like
Our trip was planned in our own stomping grounds – Seattle. We live about an hour away from this city. I presented some trip destinations that weren’t too crazy far away, and Seattle was her choice.
Saturday morning we woke up and hit the road. As we got in the car I handed her the first gift bag, which contained her P2P journal and a set of pens. She loves pens!
On the way to Starbucks, where we would be eating breakfast, I played the “Beginning the Journey” portion of session 1.
At that first stop we brought in the Activity 1 gift bag. We sat and did the first puzzle activity in Starbucks and discussed it.
Next, we jumped in the car and listened to the second disc, “Running with the herd.” This took us to our hotel destination in Seattle.
Once we got to the hotel, she was anxious to do the next activity bag project titled “Mixing Friends.”
She wanted to plug ahead, so we did half of the “Ready for an Upgrade” session.
It became obvious when it was time for a break and some lunch. We went down to the Seattle waterfront. She didn’t have an interest in the ferris wheel, and she had already done “Soaring over Washington” with her grandpa. We settled on some arcade games at one of the piers.
Next, we would travel through the gum wall up to the Pike Place Market. We did the market together, making sure to hit the magic store (something I loved doing as a kid) and the sweet shop to buy something for dad.
Girlfriend wanted hamburgers for lunch, so that’s what we did next.
She was then ready to head back to the hotel to tackle the sex talk. I’m glad we had this sex talk again (remember we had already told her the basics) because apparently there was some confusion that needed clarification on this weekend away.
She didn’t look forward to these talks, but they were good, important and fruitful.
The evening was full of time at the pool, Exploding Kittens, Thai food and the Lion King.
The Lion King was a surprise event for the weekend, and it did not disappoint. She was so incredibly excited. As she has been sharing about the weekend with others, this is the first thing she mentions.
I encourage you to have one big highlight. For us, it was musical theatre. For you, it might look different – a shopping trip, snow skiing, a beach day, a fishing trip, go-carts, or a spa date. Give your child something that will feel special to them and the unique way they were created.
The next day we woke up and had donuts at the market.
It was then back to the hotel room for the optional talk (pornography, same sex attraction and sexual experimentation) and then the “Crossing the Date Line” session. It was then time to check out of the hotel room, so we had to finish that last disc on our drive to shopping at University Village.
We had lunch and more games there. The final Seattle event was the Chihuly Garden of Glass, which was enchanting.
The final destination was dinner with dad. I tried to make this weekend all about her and her likes. I would have liked to end at a special restaurant, but she just wanted casual pizza, so that’s what we did.
We had purchased her a necklace with her middle name, Faith, on it. That has double significance. We decided against a purity ring at this time, but we wanted a special memento to stay with her as a reminder about our time together.
She was able to tell her dad about the weekend, and I was happy that she was willing to communicate some of what the Passport 2 Purity content was about. The object lessons were great starting points to discussing main concepts with him.
Addressing Concerns with the Passport 2 Purity Program
I read some reviews online, which presented concerns about the program. I thought it might be helpful to address those.
Concern: One concerns was with that there was a disparity between what was being taught to the boys vs. the girls about things like masturbation or pornography.
Reply: I didn’t listen to the boys version. It is correct that masturbation was not talked about with the girls. If a parent feels the need to talk about this with the girls, there is space to do so. Pornography is definitely an issue facing all of our kids today. This is addressed in the optional girls portion of session 4. Session 4 also addresses the modern issues of sexting, sexual experimentation and social media. I have the “third edition” or P2P, which is obviously more current than maybe some online had experienced.
Concern: It was boring.
Reply: I didn’t find that to be the case with my daughter. The delivery had enough variety and activities to keep her engaged.
Concern: This is used as a shaming tool.
Reply: I didn’t really feel like this, but I took time to emphasize some important points that may have only been touched upon by the Raimeys.
The program emphasized that sex is beautiful and is designed to be within the context of marriage. There were a couple times it was said that God is a God of forgiveness and grace. It’s never too late to make the right choice, even if you have crossed these boundaries already.
It addresses sexual abuse briefly, encouraging kids to come forward and have no shame about what was done to them against their will.
I made sure to look at my daughter and say, “God loves. I love you. We want what is best for you. If you go down a different road, I will still love you. God will still love you. He just wants a relationship with you. Whatever choices you make here, I want you to be able to talk about it with us and know that God’s mercy abounds.”
Concern: Presents girls as “damaged goods” if they lose their virginity.
Reply: They shared testimony of women who had sex, had regrets and then made different decisions down the road. Forgiveness in this area was also discussed.
This particular Amazon review said that girls who had sex were like a “used match.” There is the match object lesson, but the point of the lesson was that virginity is something you lose once. I don’t think it said the girls were worthless – just that you can’t get your virginity back.
This reviewer also didn’t like the leaky balloon object lesson. The point of that object lesson is that every sexual act outside of marriage takes away part of your innocence and purity. There was part of that object lesson that sat weird with me too because I never want my daughter to feel like a deflated balloon with holes, even if she makes different choices. This was when I really made sure that my daughter understood that this is just talking about her innocence, not her value or worth.
Concern: Sex is presented in a negative light.
Reply: I think the program did a good job of showing that sex is designed, beautiful and meant for our pleasure. There are ways in our society that sex has been perverted. Many just don’t believe that and believe we need more sexual expression and “freedom.”
Entertain me for one moment. What would be eliminated if we followed God’s plan to keep sex within marriage? Unwanted pregnancies, rape, child molestation, STDs, regrets, sexual slavery in our world, affairs, prostitution, sexual addiction are the main things that come to mind. The #MeToo movement wouldn’t even need to exist.
I do believe that in the area of sexuality God is protecting us with His standards. It may seem too conservative for you, but I do believe God’s ideas about sex within a marriage are good and what offer true freedom in this area of sexuality.
I am aware that’s not what the world teaches. It’s not what the media is going to tell you, but I believe sex within marriage is God’s design.
The Bottom Line
Here you have A Mom’s Review of Passport 2 Purity. I believe the Passport 2 Purity weekend is a great way to discuss important topics with your children.
It opens the door to discussion, and they get to hear about sex from you rather than their peers or the media. This provides a Christ-centered point of view that can ground them in this area.
The program is engaging, although it can feel daunting at times because it is a lot of content. Provide breaks and activities to look forward to throughout the weekend.
Although the P2P program takes a very conservative stance, the Rainey’s are constantly pointing the child back to their parent as a guide, which gives some flexibility to talk about the subject further.
I love the goals to have kids make up decisions about temptations beforehand. How will you handle a situation when your friends ask you watch a movie that just doesn’t feel right? What will you do when you are asked to make-out with that guy at a party? What will your decisions be about sex and where to draw the line? How will you handle peer pressure around alcohol?
That said, my daughter wasn’t finding any of this sex talk appealing or tempting. I assured her these feelings would change as her hormones kicked in.
As I see her interest in sexuality develop, I will continue to have these conversations. I, quite frankly, don’t want her to set in stone, at 11, that she will not kiss a guy until she is walking down the aisle. I want her to draw a line, but might just not see the line in the same location as the P2P program.
My daughter might make the decision to not kiss until she is married in her teen years, which would be just fine. I just don’t know that she’s ready to make it now as it all sounds disgusting to her now. I did assure her it’s not disgusting. She’s not sold on that…yet.
Overall, I recommend this program as a good tool for Christian parents to start and continue to conversations about sex.
In a world that is dying to tell your children about sexuality, it is great to have a program that directs them back to Jesus as well as points them to their parents, who have wisdom and experience in this area.