When my kids were little, I had some friends over for the BBQ. Their kids kept coming up and saying, “Is there anything I can do to help?” I was blown away by their diligence in being helpful.
I asked my friends what they did to raise kids that were so helpful. The mom said that one of the things they say is, “We are in, ‘What’s next, Mommy?’ mode.” It was a phrase I adopted for our family immediately.
We are in, “What’s Next, Mommy?” Mode
Do you ever have time with your kids when they are supposed to be working with you on cleaning up and suddenly they get bored or distracted and wander off?
If you teach them to say, “What’s next, Mommy?” or “What’s next, Daddy?” then you aren’t abandoned in the middle of the process. It’s amazing how much this simple phrase has helped keep our kids on task.
However, there is a way to do this parenting method that keeps them engaged.
The trick is having it as speed cleaning time. There is an energy to the time. Everyone is working diligently.
If they are doing it well, I try and make it short and concise. The goal is to have them go and complete simple tasks quickly and then learn to come back to me to ask what is next.
This parenting strategy is one we have tried to train in our kids for quite some time. We just returned from a camping trip, and I said, “We are in ‘What’s next?’ mode until both mom and dad say we are all done. At ages 15, 13, and 11, were able to get the tasks done quite quickly, and then we could get on with our lives.
The Big Picture Can Be Overwhelming to Kids
Sometimes children can become overwhelmed when they see a big mess. They might look at the playroom and not know where to start.
When you are there directing, you can help them see how to break up big tasks into smaller pieces. They’ll come to you, and you can say, “Go pick up the cars.” They go quick and return with, “What’s next, Mommy?” You can say, “Great job. Go straighten the papers.”
Little by little, the bigger picture is being segmented and manageable for them. This translates to when you are working together to pick up or clean the whole house. All kids, but especially kids with ADHD can really benefit from this kind of focused training.
If they have a bad attitude, we use the phrase, “Try that again” <—Read more about that other beloved phrase in our home.
If they are disappearing or getting off task, you can redirect them.
Direct disobedience can come with consequences. Here’s a list of creative consequences for kids of all ages.
They are learning, and nothing happens overnight in parenting so stay patient. With discipline, diligence, and a few favorite phrases, we can help teach our kids to have a good attitude when helping within their homes.
Like my friend’s kids, you will begin to see it transfer outside of the home with a little teaching and encouragement.
Want More Posts on Teaching Kids to Help with Cleaning?
I like to mix up tactics in parenting to keep kids engaged and interested. We are in “What’s Next Mommy?” Mode is just one of the tools in my toolbox.
For more ideas on helping kids to learn to be diligent when cleaning up, visit the links below.
Room-by-Room Cleaning Checklist for Kids
The Great List of Chores for Kids of All Ages
DIY Help Wanted Board – This is an older post that needs to be updated with better photos and descriptions, but I still love the idea.
This is a great approach! Kids can disappear quick when there is work to be done! I need to get in a better habit of getting mine to think for themselves. Changing a command to a question might be an even better approach. As in, what could you do with all the cars? Now do you think the papers look messy, how could you fix that? One more step to independence.
That’s a great idea! It’s really good to get them start noticing and thinking through things like that. Thanks so much for commenting.
Outstanding advice! I wish I would have known this sooner, but hey it’s never too late right? 😉
Thanks for sharing!
Never too late. Hope it works well for you!